Me VS. Everyone Else

If you have never prepped for a competition before you will never know the kind of mental, physical and emotional strength it takes to see it all the way through.  It is your goal and your goal only and so the concept of quitting is entirely up to you.  Excuses can include things like; I don't think my body looks ready to literally I don't want to do this shit anymore.  I had those thoughts and dabbled in quitting but I am glad I didn't.  My goals were to see it all the way through and to look better than I did in 2011 and I can happily say that I accomplished both of those goals and went beyond them by placing 3rd in my Novice class.

The reason why I titled this "Me Vs. Everyone Else"is because everyone's experiences before and after the competition are so different.  Some people have a really easy prep because they have been athletic their whole life, others have an easy prep because they have the all or nothing mentality and can easily meet their macros within 5 grams every god damn day for weeks without ever cheating or binging.  After prep it's the same thing, some people don't have a cheat meal, some people go right into reverse dieting and some stuff their face for days.  What is the point in all of this?  I think it's extremely important to know yourself before accepting the challenge of competing.  Not only will it be helpful before but after as well.  I, personally, get wrapped up in what others are doing and what others think (something I have been and will work on my entire life).  I am constatly seeing others be super successful; obtaining their alloted macros for the day, not binging EVER, not cheating, and even post comp I watch from a far of people who still have abs to people who just had a post contest meal a few days ago.

For me, I can only speak on what I do/did and who I am as a person when it comes to competition prep.  I am not perfect, I cheat, I binge, I stuff my face and partly because of my eating disorder.  M thought process is like "I can't workout, what's the point of eating good" or "I already ate 10 chips I mind as well eat 10 more, an ice-cream, go out to dinner and then eat another dessert."  It isn't easy living in a body that wants to be fat but a heart and mind that want to compete nationally and become a 10x pro!  I know I have the potential and that was proved to me this past competition.  It was like life telling me if I get better and better I can place better and better.  Competing with If It Fits Your Macros will forever be how I prep.  It works for me and even though I am not perfect with it and there is room for improvement those are the things I will continue to work on until I can compete again.

Post show has been much better than my first time.  The first two days after show I was sick, the next two days I stuffed my face, the next few days I ate intuitively, then I tried going back on my macros but failed, then I had an injury and had to stop working out which then caused me to continue my not so healthy eating habits.  

What have I realized?  The same thing I stated above, that I really could eat junk food for the rest of my life.  Where will that get me? A body that I do not want to live in, that I won't feel comfortable with, that I will constantly be down on myself about.  This is exactly where my drive to compete comes from because I KNOW fitness is a huge part of my life that without it I would be an unhappy person and I really do thrive off of being healthy and fit and am a happier person when I am comfortable in my own skin.

With that being said I am about to take part in a "pinkie swear" tomorrow.  My swear will consist of the 3 following things for the next 30 days;

1) To be within 10 grams of fat/carbs/protein 6/7 days

2) To allow myself a cheat meal on Sundays

3) To not binge or not allow myself to binge

I think these are all obtainable things and I join you in following this journey with me!! I will be doing weekly check-in's to discuss my progress!!!